The ongoing saga of the loud neighbours ... just got a little bit quieter

Just 2 posts ago, I pointed out the new loudness of my neighbours, with the obnoxiously loud music blasting the arrival and departure the of the ultimate coolness on wheels called a Dodge Caravan driven by the teenage boy.

It seems either all that loud blasting of music and/or whatever fidgeting Mr. "Don't I look cool in this sexy minivan?" next door was doing to make Mommy and Daddy's Dodge Caravan the ultimate chick magnet, has resulted in a tow truck coming to drag it away to the repair shop. The fact that it's a Dodge already put its reliability and trustworthiness at a disadvantage. Whatever is the dream boy going to do without his sex machine to show off to the ladies in high school, as the cheap plastic door panels rattle to the beat of the music at volume level 100?

I guess that hood scoop mod is going to have to wait...

Fresh out of Ashlee Simpson's crotch, a sprog named Bronx Mowgli

Why do celebrities insist on naming their kids after an occupation, inanimate object, a location from somewhere in the world, and names of fictitious characters?

Bronx Mowgli Wentz (B.M.W.) was born to parents Ashlee "lip-synch" Simpson and Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz. Named after one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the US, and a shirtless boy who frolicks with animals from an animated Walt Disney movie. I hope they enroll their son in a self-defense class early, because he's going to need it when the other school kids kick his ass, especially if he gets his mom's original, pre-surgery, nose, it will be like a big target on his face that can't be missed. If he get's his mom's man-chin, that might help his cause.


Ashlee's nose: before and after (did something also get done with the man-chin?)

The on-going saga of the loud neighbours

As alluded first, here, I have some annoying and loud neighbours, who seem intent on broadcasting their musical tastes to the whole street and neighbourhood. Now, the teenage son, or family mistake, is getting into it. Now that he appears to have the license to drive, he is intent on broadcasting when he leaves and comes home in the chick magnet known as the Dodge Caravan, owned by Mommy and Daddy, blasting his music through the rickety speakers in the sproggenwagon, so everyone knows he is arriving home, or about to leave. Because there's nothing more cool than a teenager blasting his shitty music through the rattly vibrating door panels in a Dodge Caravan. I'm shocked he doesn't arrive home with teenage girls, or boys (can't discriminate, can we?) all over him and his low rise jeans, jamming to the beats in the 'rent's sexy minivan.

The other day, it looked like he installed some new wannabe-HID headlight bulbs in the sex-on-wheels, because we all know coloured headlights make any car go faster. I'm expecting the next mod to the chick magnet to be a big hood scoop like the Ford pictured below.

The Death of the American Automobile

I've written about the crap that the Big Three US auto manufacturers have been trying to pass off as cars to the North American public. Now, these Big 3 are begging for a bailout so they don't go completely belly up.

While I have sympathy for the people who would be affected significantly, directly or indirectly, by any of these companies shutting down, I have no sympathy for the companies themselves. Many businesses fail, but most of them don't get a bailout. Sure, GM, Ford, and Chrysler may be 3 big companies, but how does a big company get to the point where they are in such dire straits that they can see the end is near? By total mismanagement, incompetence, and just plain stupidity. And these CEO's, who had stated in the congressional hearings about whether or not these Big 3 should get a bailout by the government, that they would NOT sell their private jets, which they all flew on to attend the hearings, and instead fly on a commercial airline back to their headquarters. They had stated that they needed their private jets for safety reasons. Does most of America even recognize these CEO's if they were walking down the street? If you need to "fly in comfort", then fly your ass in First Class, because it's still cheaper than flying your own corporate jet. Afraid you might be harmed when flying with regular people? Why would someone try to harm you? It's not like your companies are worth anything, and maybe then it would give them a reason to hire someone who might actually be a competent CEO.

These Big 3 want money, but not much has been said about what these companies will do with this money to get back to profitability. For all anyone knows, they will carry on as usual, pissing it away on vehicles "we want", like all of their recent new vehicles -- big 7 passenger Ford Flex, Ford Edge, 7 passenger Dodge Journey, and, you guessed it, the 7 passenger Chevrolet Traverse -- because everyone wants a gas guzzling big 7 passenger vehicle right now! Then we'll be back in these hearings a few years from now, asking for more taxpayers' money.

Famous Face-Off # 007

Bond, James Bond.



How appropriate that the world's most popular spy, James Bond happens to be entry #007 in the Famous Face-Off series. Yes, it was planned right from the beginning to carefully coincide with the release of the latest, officially the 22nd movie, Quantum of Solace.

Two movies into his tenure as the MI6 agent with the licence to kill, Daniel Craig has settled nicely into the role, and has proven to be successful, with Quantum of Solace breaking all previous opening weekends for any other Bond film in history. But just how does he compare with previous Bonds?

He is without a doubt the first Bond who bulked up for the role and really looks like he could kick anybody's ass. With Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan, one had to really take the actions scenes with a grain of salt, with their slender pretty boy looks and next to non-existant physique. While at the same time, Daniel Craig is the first Bond to actually appear "human", and not just an emotionless killing machine. Craig's Bond is one who actually takes a beating, and bleeds! You hardly ever saw previous Bonds have so much as a scratch after a fist fight, much less a knife fight. And let's not forget that painful-to-watch-if-you're-a-guy torture scene in Casino Royale -- it brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "bust my balls". Craig's Bond even has an emotional side, falling in love in his first outing in Casino Royale, so much so that he quit Her Majesty's Secret Service for the woman he falls for. He then has his heart and soul ripped out, as women in real life are so good at doing to men, as the woman he was in love with betrays him and his country. That feeling of betrayal is carried over into Quantum of Solace, where Bond is out for answers, and despite all his denial, deep down he is looking to make someone pay.

In the vast majority of people's eyes, Sean Connery will always be the James Bond. But while Connery was the perfect Bond for the times, in the 1960's, Craig is perfect for the current times. More emotional, more fallible, yet also more ruthless. Ironically, the producers of the movies tried to bring us that more edgy Bond in the late 1980's with Timothy Dalton, but he was met with lukewarm success. At the time, to follow Roger Moore, who had been James Bond for the prior 12 years, it was a big change, from a suave and wisecracking Bond, to a more serious and ruthless Bond. In Dalton's second, and final outing as Bond in Licence to Kill, the film takes a different path than all the previous movies, where Bond goes rouge to seek revenge on the people who left his friend Felix Leiter, seriously wounded, and Leiter's wife murdered. The script was specifically written for Dalton, as it would have been difficult to see Roger Moore playing that more ruthless Bond. Incidentally, Quantum of Solace is also about Bond seeking revenge. You could say Dalton's Bond was before his time. Then there is George Lazenby, who was the only one Bond that got married. And just like how getting married can effectively end any semblance of an interesting life, so too ended Lazenby's tenure of Bond, at just one movie.

I have to admit, there's some man love here for Daniel Craig, and more specifically for the character of James Bond. After all, what guy wouldn't want to be Bond -- a cool, nearly invincible, world traveling secret agent hero, with a licence to kill, who could also get just about any woman he wanted in bed? Although I would have passed on the freakishly scary Grace Jones...

Pause to remember today

Famous Face-Off #006

Evan Longoria vs. Eva Longoria



This comparison has been made many times before, but with the new TV season under way after a long writer's strike, and the Tampa Bay Rays making their first ever appearance in the World Series, it is time to revisit this comparison. There are a lot more similarities than one might realize.

He's 23. She's 33.

He's 6'2". She's 5'2".

He hits balls for a living. She plays someone who can bust your balls.

He plays third base. Guys could only dream of getting to third base with her.

He studied criminology. Her TV character is married to a criminal.

He bats #4 in the order. She's ranked #4 on Maxim's Hot 100 of 2008.

His fans love to see him rounding the sacks. Most guys would love to get in the sack with her.

More thoughts and observations

Continuing from my last post...

- There was news this past week about a 7 year old boy going on a rampage in an Australian zoo, where he was caught on security camera breaking into the zoo, killing several reptiles, and feeding some of them to a crocodile, all with a blank look on his face, like a zombie. Where the fuck were his parents? A 7 year old should not be wandering off on his own, for 30 minutes no less, which was the length of the carnage caught on video. Did the parents not notice the spawn of satan gone for 30 minutes, much less 15 minutes? And what kind of upbringing did this evil crotchling experience to do such a thing? Isn't this the type of behaviour in children that eventually leads them to becoming rapists and mass murderers? Sometimes, I honestly believe parents need to pass a test on parenting before they are allowed to have children. A massive failure should result in the parents getting sterilized so not to pollute the world with their DNA.

- After watching the televised Canada Leaders Debate, I still can't figure out what the hell Stéphane Dion is saying in English 2 out of every 5 sentences. Stephen Harper is one slick SOB, with his perpetual smile and his smooth talking, which could trick any uneducated shmuck. Unfortunately, this country is full of those -- uneducated schmucks, not SOB's (but I'm sure we've got our fair share of those). Gilles Duceppe is actually a comedic little separatist ("I know I won't be Prime Minister, and neither will 3 of you, even though you won't say it."), and if it weren't for that tiny little issue of wanting to break up the country, I would actually consider him over much of the candidates given to us.



- We shouldn't complain that our Toronto Blue Jays have not won a World Series in 15 years, and our Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup in over 40. Poor Chicago Cubs fans haven't seen the World Series trophy in 99 years, and so far being 2 games down in a best of 5 in the National League divisional series, it could very well become 100 years.


- People who are not on dialysis cannot pronounce dialyze properly. They say dial-a-size ... and it really bothers me for some reason, like people who call the desktop wallpaper on a computer, a screen saver.